Sarcasm in a Relationship
Now let's reflect on the issue of scoffing at each other in a relationship. That certainly isn't healthy humour, that's sarcasm i.e. the lowest form of wit. Why? Because its aim is to belittle or hurt someone, and to cuttingly laugh at their expense. Sarcasm is only marginally better than being witless.
Some of us tend to do that often, others never allow themselves mocking about their partners. But if it happens, what can it possibly mean? What are the reasons of such behavour? And – what is more important – how does the person you scoff at feel?
When you superficially reflect on this issue, you may not find anything bad about occasional mocking at your partner. But what do you say if it happens more than often? Any person irrespective of his great sense of humour will never tolerate such attitude of the beloved one.
When your partner ridicules and i.e. humiliates you in public (among your friends or colleagues) serious problems will be hard to avoid in your relationship. Most likely it will lead to endless conversations or (in cases when people aren't used to discussing their problems) directly to huge fights which can even result in breaking up.
Why do we sometimes reduce to play painful jokes on our close people in public? Because we cannot tell him or her what we don't like about them directly! You accumulate certain negative reactions to things that your partner does wrong in your view. And instead of expressing them to him or her face to face, you start 'joking' about them in public. Things that annoy you in you partner really get on your nerves and you hurt him unintentionally and without realizing it, i.e. aggression which you have now successfully 'brought up' inside you comes out through all possible 'ways'.
The only means to avoid such manipulative behaviour is to learnt to be honest and sincere with yourself at first and then with your partner.
What does learning to be honest with yourself mean? Well, just try to pay special attention to your feelings and emotions every time you scoff about your loved one. What feelings towards your partner make you do it? You'll certainly answer these questions if you really try to understand the problem and will soon learn to define the hidden motives of sarcasm in your relationship.
After you've managed discerning true emotions hiding behind the curtains of sarcasm, you are ready to switch to the next point i.e. sincerity towards each other. Here you will start learning how to speak about your feelings directly, without using sarcasm. That's one of them most difficult things to accomplish in a relationship. But it's one of the most important markers of its success as well.
Sarcasm is hardly ever acceptable in any kind of relations. Sarcasm is hardly ever a very successful expression of your sense of humour, mostly it's something that cannot hide your personal dissatisfaction or problems or irritation which you do laugh at of course. However, one should remember that it's only good and positive laughter that's healthy as opposed to sarcasm or black humour. Humour is a smile on your face while sarcasm is a grin on your dissatisfied muzzle, we're sure you get the difference and make your conclusions regarding the issue.